The "S" Word

We had a successful suicide in our little town this week. He was 16 - a sophomore in high school. I've always been puzzled by the language - that a "failed" suicide attempt means that you get to stay alive. If this young man felt like a failure in his life, if he felt that he couldn't be successful at anything - he managed to succeed at this. And now he's gone.

My father successfully committed suicide when he was 25. In my adult examination of this, I have come to understand that it takes a powerful stimulus to override our basic survival instincts. That someone in this type of deep despair is not really trying to end their connections to their loved ones or even really to end their life - they are trying to end their pain. It is understandable that a person could be in such personal agony that any out seems reasonable - if pain, emotional or physical, was such a treat then every pharmaceutical company on earth would be bankrupt. We usually avoid pain at all costs; no one willing submits to drowning in it. I guess that explains why suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the US.

There are ALWAYS options. A patient with cancer will take drugs to ease their suffering. There are drugs to ease emotional suffering. A person with bone or muscle pain will use physical therapy, massage, and exercise to manage their problem. There are cognitive therapies, meditation, counseling and support groups to manage emotional pain. It's not always easy to see that daylight is around the corner during the darkest night of the soul. Holding someones hand until morning is always an option.

See suicide from a survivor's perspective here.

Read more about teen suicide here.