When Medicine Got it Wrong

NAMI will kick off its 30th anniversary on July 5th at the national convention in San Francisco with a special screening of the PBS documentary When Medicine Got it Wrong. The film, produced by Katie Cadigan, is about NAMI's dramatic grassroots origins and founding as a national organization.

When Medicine Got it Wrong focuses on the years when most doctors blamed parents for schizophrenia or other disorders in their children and the loving parents who rebelled against the conventional wisdom and rejected those theories. Their activism helped revolutionize treatment and spur investment in scientific research, recognizing mental illness as a physical illness involving the brain. The documentary will premiere nationally on PBS in the fall of 2009.

Cadigan hopes the film will inspire people "to evaluate our collective responsibility to treat and care for those among us with severe mental illness... The film will be a success if it sparks dialogue about the current state of our mental health care system." Cadigan's brother, John, lives with schizophrenia and in 2004 she won a NAMI award for producing People Say I'm Crazy, directed by her brother -- the first major film directed by a person living with schizophrenia.

To Dad, with love

This morning I got a text from my dear daughter-in-law that read,"Happy 'Father's day' to a lovely lady who did both parenting roles for two kids. You are loved by all your youngins.!" Tickled me pink to get that as I clearly remember the challenge of trying to fill those shoes... buying my son a jock strap for Little League, explaining the birds and the bees and later having the "protection" talk over a box of condoms- not much fun for either of us. I often fretted about the lack of a healthy male role model, for both of my kids, as a little girl also learns how a woman should relate to a man from her father. But for my son (with the challenge of a mental illness,) this lack of a role model and of the acceptance and approval of a man- it always seemed so hurtful to him. His biological father just wasn't up to the challenge of accepting his boy as perfectly imperfect.

Father's Day means more to me today than it ever has. My life has been graced by a wonderful, caring man who has embraced the role of 'Dad' like he was born to it. His affection and acceptance of my children is unprecedented as he never had any of his own. But it goes beyond that. My husband and I had only been married for 4 months when my son attempted suicide. While my son slept on my couch, not showering, moving only to eat and then to engage only with a computer for months, my new husband rose to the challenge. He attended the 12 week Family to Family course with me and learned about mental illness. He talked to my boy, and really listened, he gave him space, he gave him time. Their relationship has only grown sweeter to me through the last four years. I realized I didn't have to be 'dad' anymore.

I missed out on a father. I'm so glad my kids finally have a Dad. Happy Father's Day.

Bullied to Death

Addressing harassment and suicide prevention in schools
By Charles Robbins, Executive Director & CEO, The Trevor Project and Eliza Byard, PhD, Executive Director, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)

The impacts of language and behavior can be deadly, especially in a school environment where young people are already highly impressionable and vulnerable. Unfortunately, this difficult lesson has been conveyed many times when young people resort to drastic and permanent measures to escape the despair of enduring constant bullying and harassment at school.

It is deeply disturbing that on April 6, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11-year-old sixth-grader from Springfield, Mass., hanged himself with an extension cord in his family’s home after being subjected to continuous anti-gay bullying and harassment at his middle school. It is equally as disheartening that on April 16, less than two weeks later, Jaheem Herrera, an 11-year-old fifth-grader from DeKalb County, Ga., also hanged himself at home after being the subject of anti-gay taunts from his classmates. These were two completely separate and isolated instances, but the tragic and preventable nature of each unfortunate loss of life remains the same.

Neither Carl nor Jaheem identified as gay, yet their peers’ defamatory language and hurtful behaviors broke the barriers of sexual orientation and gender identity. Being taunted as “faggot,” “queer” or “homo” by classmates is offensive and demeaning to any student – straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning alike.

Carl is the fourth middle school student this year to complete suicide due to bullying, and Jaheem was still in elementary school. Older students are also at a high risk, as suicide is one of the top three causes of death among 15 to 24-year-olds and the second leading cause of death on college campuses. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers, and those who come from a rejecting family are up to nine times more likely to do so.

Enough is enough. It is time for school administrators, educators, parents, students and the government to work together to stop bullying and harassment in schools. Furthermore, we must teach young people to understand the profound impact of words and actions, and to recognize depression and suicidal ideations amongst their peers. By helping young people take responsibility for their actions and respect their peers, and simultaneously empowering them with the knowledge and skills they need to understand when their classmates are in crisis, we can work toward ending the dual epidemics of school bullying and youth suicide once and for all.

It is our hope that in memory of Carl and Jaheem, and in honor of all young people who have completed suicide after enduring constant torment at school, we will be able to work together to promote school environments that celebrate diversity and encourage acceptance of all people. Only then will we be confident that our children are receiving the respect and education they deserve today in order to become the successful and equality-minded leaders of tomorrow.

The Trevor Project is the non-profit organization that operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. The Trevor Project was established in 1998 to promote acceptance of LGBTQ youth, and to aid in crisis and suicide prevention among that group.

GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. Established nationally in 1995, GLSEN envisions a world in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression

Musing on suicide as we say goodbye to David

On June 4th, we lost one of my favorite actors, David Carradine. I loved the old Kung Fu series and watched it in syndication for years... I still use the moniker "grasshopper" when explaining just about anything to anybody; it will probably always make me smile. I had a huge pre-adolescent crush on Caine, who was so unshakable and such a badass. I was delighted to see Carradine in the Tarantino Kill Bill flicks, back to work in something worthy of him and looking fabulous for his age. I was horrified to hear the news of his death, an apparent suicide.

Of course, now the word "apparent" is taking the forefront; Carradine was working on a film and in good spirits and it seems far more likely that his death was accidental. This brought me back to a recent conversation in our mental health support group - we often talk about suicidal feelings as many of us experience them and support group is for... support. Talking about difficult feelings in a safe place often diffuses them somewhat and it never hurts to know that you are hardly the only one who feels that ending the pain might just be a workable solution.

So anyway, part of this conversation revolved around how many suicides are indeed accidental... the result of simply not being too on top of just how many xanax you've actually taken and rinsing them down with wine instead of water. Let's face it, if you're in the pit of depression or, even worse, flying high on the wave of mania, you are not exactly thinking clearly. You are NOT rational, you are NOT in control, and you are probably NOT the person who should be dispensing your medication, or driving your car, or trying some new risky adventure. But you're probably still going to do those sorts of things and you might end up dead. Even if that really wasn't your intention.

This brings us to the question of having a safety plan. I nag about this constantly. You need to create a plan when you're good, when you're rational, and you need to know it by heart so that when you're not good and not rational, you will turn to it by rote, out of habit. That plan needs to include someone you trust that can look after you a bit, check up on you, say NO to you. That plan needs to include a place of safety and a thing that will take you from zero to survival. The thing can be a walk, a long bath, going to a movie, getting out with people - only you know what will turn you momentarily away from the abyss. Let me emphasize that this thing only has to take you from zero to survival - not to feeling well, or even feeling better. If you're still willing to breathe another breath, that's the ticket.

Maybe David didn't have a safety plan. And maybe it was all just a horrible accident. Either way he will be missed.

And so would you.