To Dad, with love

This morning I got a text from my dear daughter-in-law that read,"Happy 'Father's day' to a lovely lady who did both parenting roles for two kids. You are loved by all your youngins.!" Tickled me pink to get that as I clearly remember the challenge of trying to fill those shoes... buying my son a jock strap for Little League, explaining the birds and the bees and later having the "protection" talk over a box of condoms- not much fun for either of us. I often fretted about the lack of a healthy male role model, for both of my kids, as a little girl also learns how a woman should relate to a man from her father. But for my son (with the challenge of a mental illness,) this lack of a role model and of the acceptance and approval of a man- it always seemed so hurtful to him. His biological father just wasn't up to the challenge of accepting his boy as perfectly imperfect.

Father's Day means more to me today than it ever has. My life has been graced by a wonderful, caring man who has embraced the role of 'Dad' like he was born to it. His affection and acceptance of my children is unprecedented as he never had any of his own. But it goes beyond that. My husband and I had only been married for 4 months when my son attempted suicide. While my son slept on my couch, not showering, moving only to eat and then to engage only with a computer for months, my new husband rose to the challenge. He attended the 12 week Family to Family course with me and learned about mental illness. He talked to my boy, and really listened, he gave him space, he gave him time. Their relationship has only grown sweeter to me through the last four years. I realized I didn't have to be 'dad' anymore.

I missed out on a father. I'm so glad my kids finally have a Dad. Happy Father's Day.