Don't Ask Why, Ask How

Some therapists are suggesting a new approach to depression. Avoid dark thoughts and temporary distractions; neither confronts or prevents the feelings. Instead, each time the physical symptoms and dark thoughts return, adopt an anthropological approach to exploring the workings of body and mind.

The instructions are unbelievably simple. Sit on the edge of a chair with your back straight and your hands resting on your thighs. Fix your attention on the physical sensations of your body and on finding an image or words that best describe the nature of those feelings. If thoughts come into your mind unbidden, observe them and let them fade. Then look for the next thought or image that follows, but don't judge it as 'good' or 'bad.' Bring your attention back to your breathing and observe what new flow of thoughts is taking the place of the last. Don't worry about why you feel what you feel or why you think what you think; concentrate purely on HOW.

'How' instead of 'why' is so simple, yet so important. If you're unconvinced, imagine a doctor who asks, "Why did you put on 10 pounds?" and one who says, "How are you feeling about your body?" It's the difference between feeling judged and feeling heard. That little word 'how' is a gesture that opens the door to deeper understanding. Professor John Teasdale of Cambridge University demonstrated that it was possible to reduce relapses for patients with depression by more than 50% with meditation, a success rate comparable to that of antidepressant medication. We can all benefit from a finer understanding of ourselves and others. All we have to do is avoid the intimidating 'why?' and offer our trust to the kinder 'how?'

paraphrased from the article by David Servan-Schreiber in Ode Magazine.